


We loved with a love that was more than love

by orphan_account



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: (Directed at Jordan), M/M, Second person POV, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 13:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4139295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're silent in the night but you need to see him. You miss him so much and the guilt is so overpowering that you can't handle it. Your love was a thunderstorm that lit up the sky with passion that was as bright as lightning but when the storm was over, you weren't ready. You head over to see him and it all clicks. You know exactly what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We loved with a love that was more than love

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Creaturefic on this site. Hopefully it isn't too disappointing. I wrote this at like 3AM whilst listening to my sad playlist on Spotify, so you get the idea of what this is gonna be like. Hope you enjoy!

It's 11PM and you're just about to go to sleep. It's been a long day at the office and you can't imagine anything better than just laying down in your bed and drifting off, dreaming about future, past and current events that have and will affect you. 

But there's something bothering you. You're not at peace and you want to fix it before crying yourself to sleep because of it. Your hands are sweaty as you pick up your phone and dial a number so familiar to you it's like you’re on autopilot when you tap it in. It's silent and you're waiting for him to answer.

He doesn't pick up. You dial in the number again, you can't be bothered to find his name in your contacts as you press "call". You take in a deep breath. Your bedroom is dark but it's silent and you're waiting for him to answer.

No answer. Maybe he's in the shower? Oh God, what if he comes back to his phone to see you've called and he's going to be annoyed because you called him whilst he was in the shower. Oh God, you've ruined everything.

It's silent as you lay your head on a black pillow, it swallows your hair, your ears and your head, and you fall into a pit of guilt and worry as it engulfs you. You try your best to shut your eyes but you can't. You've ruined everything and now he hates you. How could you do this? He's going to be so annoyed... He hates you.

xXx

It's midnight and you've fallen asleep. You dream about the past, as you expected to, like you have many times this week. You're on a pier and you're looking over a lake, he's there beside you. The water is calm, there's not a cloud in the sky and you have to squint because of the bright sunshine hitting your eyes.

"It's so beautiful," you say and look over to him. He's smiling and now so are you, it feels like there are no other souls in the world besides you and him.

"Not as beautiful as you," his voice is calm and he turns his eyes to you, their darkness shocking you like the first time you met him. You slip your hand to his and lace your fingers together, sharing the warmth of your body heat as you lean in closer.

xXx

"Hey Jordan, you look a bit pale, you alright man?" Dex looks worried and he's grabbed your shoulder, turning you so that your eyes meet. You sigh and shrug his hand off, making your way to your office. It's raining outside and it reminds you of the time you and him went to the lake. You were about to kiss but then it started pouring, you laughed as you ran down the pier back to your house.

"Jordan, if you need to talk, I'm he-"

"Leave me alone."

Seamus looks at you in deep concern after you interrupt him, but closes the door gently and begins to walk away. You breathe in, and out, in... and out, then pick up your phone and dial his number. He didn't pick up yesterday, why would he, he hates you, why are you calling him again, he's so annoyed, he hates you...

xXx

"Jordan you fucker! Wait for me!" His laughter lights up your whole world and you smile as you run up to the door, opening it so that he could just waltz in without having to wait outside in the rain, you're not that mean.

"I can't help it, James. I've got longer legs than you." You chuckle slightly and close the door behind you after you've both walked in, kicking your shoes off as you make your way to the bathroom. Practically ripping off your shirt you throw it into the washer, same with your jeans. They're both dripping wet and you can hear James' breath hitch as you bend over to take off your boxers.

"If you're taking a shower, I'm coming with you," he says and walks over, beginning to take off his clothes probably faster than he ever has before. "Didn't know you were this needy..." you chuckle as you step into the shower-bath, turning on the water so it can heat up.

"It's hard not to when you're bending over so that your ass is practically already in my face."

xXx

It's 11PM and you're already in your bed, staring up at the ceiling and it's silent. You didn't bother to change your clothes or brush your teeth or wash your hair because you know it's not worth it. Nothing's worth it. He's mad and he's annoyed and he hates you - nothing's worth it.

"Visit him. You need it." Aleks hasn't been in the office for a few weeks now but when he came in today, that's the only thing he said to you. And you know that - but you can't help but think, what if he just doesn't care? What if he's forgotten about you? What if...

You get up and bolt to the door. Your keys are still in your pocket and you slide your feet into your shoes, you run to your car without closing the door behind you. This is important and it needs to be done... he needs you and you need him, and holy hell you miss him so much it hurts and you can't keep living like this. You need him.

You park your car and forget to lock the door as you slam it shut, bolting down the gravel path that leads up to him. It's dark and there's no one around but you know you're not alone, he's here, he's waiting, he needs you. You remember the way perfectly and when you run up to him it's like the biggest weight has been lifted off your chest.

"I'm so sorry, James, I'm so sorry," the tears on your face are evident now and he sees them and he feels sorry for you, "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry..." He's sorry and crying too but you just can't see it. You squat down and bury your face into your hands.

"I miss you so much. I miss you so damn much." It's hard to talk when you're crying but you manage to do it and he's right there beside you. He's rubbing your back but you just can't feel it. He misses you too, he misses you so fucking much.

"James I... I'm starting to lose it. The house doesn't feel the same, it doesn't look the same, it doesn't smell the same. The bed feels so empty and lonely and miserable and I can't do this... I can't do this without you, James." The cold wind breathes into your neck and he's telling you that yes you can, you can do this, do it for me, I love you so much and you need to do this for me.

"I can't live without you James..." Yes you can, Jordan you can, I know you can and you will... "I'm so lost without you, I need you..." You will find a way, you always find a way... "I don't know where you are right now but I miss you so much, James..." I'm right here, right here next to you, can't you feel me? Can't you see me? I miss you so fucking much and it hurts so bad to know you can't tell that I'm here... "The pain is too much, James."

The cold stone in front of you says his name, James Richard Mathewson, the day he was born, June 1st 1990, the day he...

...

"James."  
Jordan?  
"I love you."  
I love you too, Jordan.  
"I'll bring you flowers tomorrow... Yellow daisies, your favorite."  
You don't have to do that for me...  
"Yellow daisies and white roses. The ones we had at our wedding."  
Jordan...  
"I'll visit you every day. I will, I promise."  
Jordan, I'll always be right next to you... Please...  
"You probably can't hear me but just know... I love you... so much..."  
I love you so much more...  
"Someday we'll be together forever."  
I... I know we will, Jordan...  
"And then I'll kiss you until the world ends."  
Jordan...  
"And I'll never let you go."  
Jordan, I love you but you need to-  
"We'll be together forever."

xXx

It was quick and painless, just like you expected. It was silent in the night and you pulled the trigger, one of the neighbors heard it and they're on their way here.

"James?"

There's no answer - he's not here. Where is he? Where could he be? Why isn't he here? He was... he was supposed to be here. Right next to you.

"Oh my God! Oh my God... Call 911! Quick! Holy shit!"

The man standing next to your body has begun hyperventilating and the woman beside him is dialing the emergency number as blood spills out of your head and onto your bed. You can't even tell there's any blood on it from just looking at it - your sheets are black, just like James wanted them to be.

You start to panic.

You run - or more so levitate - all around the house to find him. You're looking behind every closet and under every table but you can't find him. He's not here. Where could he be?

"Jordan."

The voice comes from outside but you can hear it like he's talking right into your ear. His voice is stern and you immediately rush outside, you see a faint shadow at the edge of the pier. In only a matter of a few seconds, you're right next to him.

"James, I'm here, James I missed you so much I needed you so much I couldn't handle it, I'm weak and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't handle the pain oh God it was so bad and I couldn't - I couldn't breathe James. I couldn't _live_."

You've crushed your bodies together and you fall in the water, but your clothes don't get wet and you don't need to hold your breath. The water's deep but you can't feel how cold it is or how the fish bump into you but you can see them, and it's like they're looking straight at you.

He's underneath you as you hit the bottom, his arms are wrapped tightly around your body as you cry into his shoulder.

"Jordan... you should have lived..." He's about to cry too but you're too busy inhaling his scent, inhaling his presence, inhaling his touch, inhaling him to comfort both of you at the moment so you just hold him.

"No James, no I should have not. I can't - I couldn't live without you. I'm so sorry but I... I couldn't."

In a split second you're on the pier again, this time sitting down at the edge, your feet touch the water but you can't feel it.

It's 5AM and it's silent as you sit next to your soulmate on the pier at the back of your house, it's long and it's narrow but you manage to squeeze yourselves to fit next to each other. You bring your hand to his and you lace your fingers together, your body shakes as you feel him again and again.

"What happens next?"  
"Huh?"  
"Do we become angels?"  
"Oh. No."  
"What about Heaven? God promised us Heaven..."  
"Jordan, I-"  
"Never mind. It doesn't matter."  
"... Jordan. If you're gonna get all lovey dovey with me whilst we're dead I swear I'm gonna -"  
"Oh come on, James... It doesn't matter as long as I'm with you. There."  
"I love you, you fucker."  
"I love you too James."


End file.
